Small

wemaynotbebigbutweresmallSometimes I hear voices. Yes. Voices. My voices, in my head, telling me stories. I think it’s akin to composers hearing music. Sometimes these moments come out of the blue, sometimes because of a smell, a sight, a feeling. Tonight it comes because of another writer (though I do not think of myself as a writer, being anywhere near this writer’s level), Stuart McLean.
Tonight, as I was listening to The Vinyl Cafe podcast, I was inspired by one short sentence: “There is abundance in scarcity”. Then, while trying to find future Vinyl Cafe concerts, I came across the motto, which hangs in Dave’s record store, “We may not be big, but we’re small.” Then came the voices, and I just had to write. If I don’t, the inspiration leaves and who knows when it will come again.
“We may not be big, but we’re small”. I needed that tonight. I often daydream about our future home with it’s multiple floors, extra bedrooms, double vanities and dedicated library. I think about one day when we have all of our kids running around and I get to fulfill my lifelong dream of being a soccer mom who makes cupcakes and casseroles every day. While I know that those days will come, I tend to get lost in the one days and forget about the today.
Today, we’re not big. We live in our cozy basement (which, yes is an upgrade from our first home), with one bedroom, and one bathroom with one sink. Our “library” also contains a lot of storage, and Christopher’s office. But, we’re small. We can talk to each other when we’re in different rooms (though I apparently have a very quiet voice that doesn’t carry well. We may not have everything we have ever wanted, but we have an abundance of blessings, one of the biggest being our love. I like to think that when we have that big house with all those kids, and soccer balls, and cupcakes, I’ll miss the “small” and “scarce” days. I might miss not having to go up or down stairs to do the laundry, or use the washroom, or get a cookie from the kitchen. I might miss only having one storage room, or one closet (not sure about that one, actually). So, today, I will be grateful for the small. I will look for the abundance in our scarcity. And I will remind myself that I am living today, not someday.

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