When Being in Love Is All You Have in Common

whenbeinginloveisallyouhaveincoomonRemember in season 3 of New Girl, when Jess and Nick break up? Yeah, I like to forget that it happened too…
After their hangover fight over how they would educate their future children while trying to put together a toy, they say that even though they keep fighting, they love each other, Jess then says, “but what if that’s all we have in common?” When that episode first aired, Christopher was in the room with me watching it (let’s be honest, in our tiny homes we’re always in the same space), and we both said something similar like, “that’s us”.
My husband and I don’t really have that much in common. I love music, listen to it all day err’day. I can tell who sings most songs, even if I’ve never heard that particular song before (as long as I know the musician’s voice), I love trivia shows like Jeopardy (I used to record it every day when we had a PVR.. I miss that) and get really excited when there are Literature or Pop Culture categories. I have a lot of books, and shoes, and take up most of the room (like 90%) in our closet.
IMGS3507Christopher can play video games and computer games for hours on end and probably forget to eat. He enjoys music, but isn’t concerned about who’s singing, or if a cover is better or worse than the original. He will read, but prefers non-fiction or fantasy (like Lord of the Rings). I’m an English major and find joy in expressing myself through the written word, and Christopher is an IT professional who enjoyed calculus in high school and understands so many things that are way over my head. We both love TV and movies, but our tastes rarely overlap. I love Downton Abbey and Audrey Hepburn movies, as well as comedies like The Office and Gilmore Girls. Chris will watch those shows if they’re on, or I’ll hear him laughing at one of the jokes in the other room, but he’s not likely to watch them on his own. We do however both love Suits and Brooklyn Nine-Nine and only watch new episodes together. When it comes to movies the only ones we’re likely to watch together without the other coercing the other into it (like I did on Friday when we went to see Cameron Crowe’s Aloha) are superhero movies like The Avengers (and any of the individual movies) and Guardians of the Galaxy, and Disney movies (we would both be happy to go to Disneyland every year).IMG_2189 More often than not, the only thing that Christopher and I have in common is our love for each other. Sometimes that’s all we have to go on. I have a hard time convincing him to go running with me or play Trivial Pursuit (though right now I’m having a hard time convincing myself to go) and I always say no to playing Risk or Halo. But, I love him, and he loves me. We do have similar goals for our life and I think that really helps when we struggle to find things that we have in common. And even though we don’t share hobbies, we are supportive of each other’s passions and are willing to listen to each other talk about them (he’s definitely better at that than me). I’ve learned that you don’t have to have everything in common in order to have a happy and successful marriage. I know that three years of marriage and four years of being a couple doesn’t make me an expert in the field of love, but I feel like it makes me an expert on us.

Do you have a lot in common with your significant others? Do opposites always attract? Or are we the exception?

  • Great post! I loved reading about how you guys love each other besides not having much in common! I have a lot in common with my bf but I also like a lot of things he doesn’t. 😀


  • I feel like common goals are way more important than shared interests. Mr. Loca and I don’t have very much in common either.

    LindaLibraLoca: Beauty, Baby and Backpacking

    • Absolutely! I’ve dated guys that I had a lot in common with, but didn’t share a lot of the same life goals, so obviously that didn’t work out well.

  • 🙂 This makes me smile. You don’t have to have a lot in common. That doesn’t mean you can’t love each. And you don’t need another person to “complete you”. But complementing each other, that’s the ticket!

    • I agree, Abe! Complementing is the perfect word for it! 🙂

  • Laura Beckett

    Hi Kristi! So happy to read this post and see how happy you are! I definitely think a lot of the time opposites attract! That’s what keeps things interesting! 🙂

    • Thanks, Laura! I totally agree, it definitely keeps things interesting.

    • I’m not wohrty to be in the same forum. ROTFL

  • Wanda Rogers

    Randy and I have very few things in common…but we have two little boys and 15 years of experience in loving each other. I agree with Linda above, common goals and dreams keep us close.

    • That’s so sweet, Wanda. Those are the things that really matter.

  • Bash Harry

    Aww, this is such a beautiful post! I don’t know if I can say I’ve been in love with someone who has little in common with me. Sometimes, it feels like it but then other times, it’s like ‘yeah, I see why.’ Hahaha <3

    xx Bash | Bash Says Hey | bloglovin’

  • Oh my goodness, I LOVE Suits too! I watch it on Netflix so I’m not caught up yet but I am dying to see more. Knowing each others love languages is really helpful in knowing how to love each other. I’m super independent and Matt is totally okay with that but he likes to spend time with me so I have learned to ask him if I’m going into town if he wants to come. Even though sometimes it is easier for me to just go on my own, I know that’s important to him and it usually ends up being really nice to have the conversation. He likes to buy little things like treats and that used to be annoying to me because I personally feel like it’s a waste of money, but I started buying him the treats he likes and he really appreciates it. It’s little stuff like that that shows our spouses that we love them. Love is for sure the most important thing. Not every couple has tons of things in common. Your love of each other and God are what really matter 🙂

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